When bullying becomes invisible – the bullying codes: What parents need to know now! Bullying among children

Bullying isn't a new issue, but the way it manifests itself has changed dramatically in recent years. In the past, bullying was often confined to the schoolyard or classroom—teasiness, exclusion, or physical violence were among the most common forms. But in today's digital world, bullying has taken on a new dimension. It's no longer enough to just be at school to become a victim of bullying. Digital connectivity has expanded bullying to a 24/7 basis, making it much worse for those affected.

In my practice, I've seen increasing cases of digital bullying in recent years—children who are isolated and abused not only by their classmates at school, but also on social media or via WhatsApp and Instagram. The exclusion and shaming often take the form of private messages, memes, or images deliberately shared to humiliate the victim. This type of bullying is particularly insidious because it knows no geographical boundaries and occurs around the clock.

What many parents don't realize: Bullying isn't just a problem that affects children at school—it has profound effects on the self-esteem , mental health , and social lives of those affected. To better understand these trends, I have collected data and experiences with the children I work with that demonstrate very precisely which forms of bullying are most common today and how severely they impact the children affected.

I would like to explain to parents exactly what is behind these bullying actions , what signs they can recognize and, above all, how they can help their children to defend themselves against bullying.

For this reason, I have also used the characters from the current Netflix series " Adolescence" listed with.

🔴 1. Emojis that can indicate threat or bullying

Emoji	Meaning in the bullying context
💀	“You are dead” – threat or serious insult
🔪	Symbolizes violence or threat, also black humor
🖕	Insulting – “F*** you”
😈	Malice, announcement of nasty actions (“I have something planned…”)
👿	Aggressive mockery, often in a group context
🧨	Hint of escalation, “Now it’s going to explode” – often ironic
🤡	“You are ridiculous” – devaluation as a clown
🐍	“You are wrong” or “traitor” – very hurtful
⚰️	“You died for us” – Extinction
🪦	“We buried you” – extreme exclusion
🙃	Sarcastic or sly smile
🫥	You are “invisible”, ignored, meaningless
👎	Public rejection (“You are bad”)
🐸	You're ugly!
🐣	I don't care what you think!
💅	Does not interest me!
🧢	A lie!
👏	Emphasis with passive-aggressive tone: "I 👏 am 👏 busy 👏!
🥑	You are "basic" - meant derogatorily.
🗑️	You are worthless!
✂️	Threatening to hurt someone
🔮	Threat that something bad will happen.
👉🤕	Threat of violence
✊👉🚑	Threat of violence
💀🥩	You're done!
👁️👄👁 ️	Come to terms with it!
👻	Ghosted- ignored
🧨	Emojis from the series "Adolesence" Dynamite stands for an incel, i.e. a man who involuntarily has no success with women and develops frustration as a result.
💯	The 💯 emoji is used in the current Netflix series "Adolescence" to reference the so-called 80/20 rule in the dating context. In the series, it symbolizes an extremely selective perception of attractiveness. This rule also serves as the basis for manipulative behaviors such as gaslighting, which address power dynamics and insecurities in adolescent relationships.
💊	In the Netflix series Adolescence , the pill symbol appears as a reference to the red pill from the film The Matrix —a symbol for recognizing a supposedly "hard truth." In certain online communities, particularly within the so-called manosphere, this symbolism is used to spread the idea that men are systematically disadvantaged and manipulated by women—a narrative that is critically portrayed in the series.
🥔	In the Netflix series Adolescence , the brown kidney bean appears as a recurring symbol. It is used by certain characters who identify with so-called incels—an abbreviation for "involuntary celibates," men who live involuntary celibacy and often express their frustration in misogynistic online forums. The series uses this symbolism to critically examine the dynamics and ideologies of such internet subcultures.

🚫 2. Drug-related emojis (often used as code)

Emoji	Meaning / Substance
🍁	Cannabis leaf (marijuana)
🥦	Broccoli = code for cannabis
🍬	Ecstasy or other pills
💊	Medications or drugs
💨	Smoke, mostly in connection with smoking weed
🔥 or 🚀	“Strong stuff” – often cannabis
🧪	Liquid or chemical drugs (e.g. LSD)
🚬	Cigarette – can indicate nicotine, but also drugs
🔌	drug dealer
🍄	Magic Mushrooms
🤧🔑	cocaine
❤️🍬	"Molly" - Ecstacy
👑💰	Advertising for drug sales

⚠️ 3. Emojis for sexual harassment or grooming

Emoji	Meaning in the context of abuse
🍆	Penis – clearly sexual
🍑	Po (butt) – sexually connotated
🌮 / 🍌	Vagina / penis – often combined
💦	“Arousal” or “cum”
👅	Symbol for lust, licking, oral sex
🔞	Reference to sexual content
🛏️	Invitation to sexual acts
🧸	“Cuteness” – used as bait in grooming

❤️ 4. Colored hearts and their meaning in the context of bullying

Heart emoji	Meaning in the bullying context
❤️ Red	Ironic “love”, often sarcastic
🧡 Orange	Superficial friendship, distance
💛 Yellow	False friendliness in bullying groups
💚 Green	Envy, jealousy, subtle barbs
💙 Blue	Cool ignorance or “among boys”
💜 Violet	Irony or genuine empathy (depending on the context)
🖤 Black	Isolation, sadness, “dark humor”
🤍 White	Hope, comfort – often used by those affected
🤎 Brown	Less frequently, sometimes on diversity issues or racism-related bullying

🕵️♀️ 5. Secret bullying codes in the digital space

Code / Expression	Meaning	Typical use
“K” or “/K”	“You’re sick in the head”	Devaluation of mental state
“LMAO” / “LOL”	Ironic laughter	In response to posts to mock
“Delete images”	Making invisible	Digital erasure, e.g. on Insta
“Ghosting”	Complete ignoring	Sudden loss of contact
Letter shift (“C0D3”)	Secret messages	Adults don't understand
“Night mode” / “Dark mode”	“You are weird/depressed”	Devaluation for “negative” behavior
“Like” negative posts	Public support for devaluation	Increased bullying
“XX” or “XXX”	“You’re written off”	Extinction by cross symbol
“NPC” (Non-Playable Character)	“You’re just a character,” “Looser”	Dehumanization, social insignificance
“Lake Zone”	Read but ignored	Cold, silent rejection
Group exclusion	"You're out"	Remove from chats & groups
"You're cringe"	“Embarrassing,” “uncomfortable”	Frequently used in youth language

Why these codes are so dangerous:

The most dangerous feature of these secret bullying codes is that they allow bullies to conceal their actions. While overt, physical bullying is immediately noticeable and requires an immediate response, digital bullying is often much more subtle and difficult to detect. Without knowledge of these codes, adults cannot intervene immediately, leaving victims isolated and further increasing their psychological distress.

It's crucial that parents and teachers familiarize themselves with these codes so they can respond to potential signs of bullying early on. Open communication with children and regular monitoring of digital activity are essential to ensure that children feel safe in the digital world and do not become victims of bullying.

The sad truth-

Bullying among children usually occurs in secret.

Many children remain silent – out of fear, shame, or because they believe nothing will change anyway. Most parents only find out about it when their child is already deeply hurt.

👨👩👧👦 What can parents do?

✅ Prevention and protective measures:

• Build trust: Talk openly about social media and online behavior on a regular basis.

• Show appreciation in everyday life: Self-esteem protects against toxic online communities.

• Reflecting on digital behavior together: How does the algorithm work? What does TikTok really show?

• Participate instead of excluding: watch YouTube stars, play games together – show interest.

• Set boundaries, but explain: What is allowed and what isn't? Why?

When bullying becomes invisible – the bullying codes: What parents need to know now!

🧠 Warning signs that parents should look out for:

Behavioral change	Possible indication of a problem
Withdrawal from friends and family	Cyberbullying or psychological stress
Nighttime online behavior	Contact with dangerous people or communities
Sudden anger or anxiety	Bullying, blackmail, grooming
Secret behavior with smartphone	Something should be deliberately hidden

🆘 What to do in an emergency?

• Seek a trusting conversation – without accusation

• Save screenshots, document evidence

• Contact contact persons at the school

• Involve specialist advice centers and the police

Have you had similar experiences?

Feel free to share them in the comments – scroll down to the bottom!

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Bullying among children